Women, Religion, and Sex (MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR EVERYONE!)

[Meara Aideen]

I realize by now that some of you may be sick of hearing from me. However, I came across this amazing article and had to share.

In addition to HPA, Save Darfur, STAND, etc., I'm also a member of the United Methodist Church General Board of Church and Society, if that's the correct wording. This board acts as the activist wing of the Methodist Church, bringing to light a bunch of issues both church-specific as well as global. Being Methodists, a key point of the board is that any human suffering is something we need to act on, regardless of consequences. They put out a newsletter every week or so with articles written by a variety of people, and while many of them caught my eye, this one definitely made me stand up.

Sex and the Church: Reexamine Priorities

My first reaction, as a feminist, is to cheer. It's about time church groups started to reexamine their preaching and its impact on how women are then treated in society. If there is a call within churches to remove teachings such as "women submit to men" and Original Sin, perhaps there will be better protection for women. And perhaps, women will be able to allow themselves to stand up for their own rights.

On the other hand, I also question the necessity of teaching things like masturbation in a church setting. Call me old fashioned, and I am, but I feel uncomfortable with that kind of sex education anywhere outside the home. I'm all for teaching about prevention (abstaining from sex all together won't work for all people all the time) and teaching about options individuals have, if only to start conversations about when it's appropriate and when it's not.

Then again, I am not in South Africa. I am not looking at a major AIDS epidemic, I'm looking at Western Oklahoma with its majorly conservative values. So that's why I turn to you, my friends. What are your thoughts? Should religious institutions, not just Christian ones, reevaluate their teachings in order to better protect and empower women? Should they also include sex education classes that cover subjects like masturbation?

[Brigid Courtney]

Hi ! I am an Episcopalian, a sister, or as some would think of it as a nun. Actually nuns are generally those in enclosed orders... I have been married, have a son, and now am under a vow of celibacy..Not because of my son.. he's great, but my live of dedication to God has been a joy. My parents were not very good about explaining anything about sex to me.. I wish my church would have had an open forum where I could have gone and been encouraged to talk to others..about all these things. Back in the 50's and 60's no one talked about anything... I am happy that my church is very good about promoting the equality and dignity of everyone...We have two women priests at the convent and another in the making.. I don't think that masturbation is wrong... I do believe that our sexual feelings are God given and as such we need to use this gift repsonsibly.. I was a single mom for aseveral years, and I wasn't really good about conversations about all this with my son at that time I felt inadequate and embarrassed... I wish he could have had conversation with me now, and also in small groups at either church or school, with certain ground rules in force, like what you say stays here..everyone needs a safe place to talk..

[Meara Aideen]

Maybe I should explain my view on masturbation: I don't think it's wrong or creepy either. However, I'm a little bit uncomfortable with it being talked about in church or school because it's such a public forum for such a private act. Talking about it with your parents does limit the information you get, but it also keeps it more private.

I also agree that churches need to reevaluate the way that they discuss women. Even in Orthodox Judaism, where women are not allowed in certain parts of the synagogue, women are told that they have full power over the home. Men have power over the religious aspects of the family's life with the exception of lighting the Shabbat candles; women rule over just about everything else dealing with the home. In Christianity, for many people, women have no power in any aspect of life and always come under their husband. This may not be true as much for some people as others, but it definitely still happens and is in many cases church-sanctioned.

What teachings, in particular, need to be reevaluated, though? And how can different faiths, not just Christians, welcome women and give them power over their own bodies, something that has been feared for centuries?

[Atlacamani]

Well, I'm also Catholic, but I suppose I'm a bit more liberal than most. Parts of the Bible have definitely been used throughout history (and are still used today) to convince woman to accept a position in society that is subordinate to that of men. I think that religious institutions should take a closer look at they way they have been treating woman and at some of the damage their attitudes have caused. Then they might take steps toward making women feel a bit more welcome.

I personally don't think that masturbation is either wrong or creepy, although I agree that it probably is best for parents to decide when to talk to their children anything beyond the basics (as long as the children do eventually get the information!)

[Hazelnut Witch]

Well, first, I have to cinfes to not reading the whole article (I have the attention span of a goldfish), and I can't vouch for other faiths, even other Christian ones, but I'm Catholic, so I thought I'd add my two cents. The Catholic Church actaully teaches that sex is sacred. Sadly, many many Catholics don't know this. I have a hunch that many religions hold this to be true as well, and what we can do is not reevaluate our teachings, but actually TEACH people. For example, the Church says sex, within marriage, is not only for procreation but also for bonding, and is, in fact, the physical part of the sacrament of marriage (not the marriage ceremony, which is important, but it's the sexual act that "seals" it, so to speak). Furthermore, women and men are equal. Different (I must stress this), but equal. As far as "empowering women" and not being submissive goes, the particular part in the Bible that says women should submit to their husbands goes on to say that husbands should act act as Christ acts to his Church to their wives. That means, you know, doing what is good towards them, and even offering up their physical bodies for them. I think it's a beautiful relationship. So, again, I don't think we need to change our teachings, because when you really look at them, they're pretty on the ball. When you look at all people as created by God, you'll protect and respect all ofthem, both Women and men.

As for sex ed, I went to a atholic school, and part of our religion class covered sex ed. Um, in the Catholic Church, we teach that masterbation is wrong (and creepy! the Church doesn't say that, just my personal opinion there), so that's pretty much as it's covered in sex ed. I, as a parent, would have a big problem with a public school that did not stay neutral on the subject. I agree with you, however, that sex ed should start at home, and I wish more parents would talk, openly, about sex with their kids. My parents talk about sex with me, and I have no problem with it.